Sunday, March 9, 2008


The only thing I'm good at seems to be not doing.

Not drinking. Not smoking. Not chasing tail. Not talking. Not realizing my dreams. Do I even dream?

So very good at demonstrating to myself there is no reason to do anything, no reason to change.

Why bother? What's the point? I can never answer these questions.

I waste away in a sea of insignificance. No person, thing, or thought stays for long here.

One day I'll look back upon my life and see a gigantic nothingness. I dread that day.

Or will I change before that day and eek out a life worth remembering?

Then again... why bother? Why is this important - to live such a life? It's not. I would have to make it important to myself. There is no objective value system that will impart wisdom. Because there is no such thing as wisdom. I hate all things subjective.

I embrace my inhibitor, my prison guard, myself. Objective reality - you are my reality.


Alok said...

been there ... done that

empraptor said...

I meant to make some kind of poem that reflects a part of my personality, but I think I ruined it by trying to make it logically consistent. I really should have cut it off earlier.